Wednesday, 9 January 2013

I fell in love with a Genius.

My trusty iPhone has been dropping calls lately. Kind of frustrating. Kind of exciting.

Because you know what this means? I get to visit the one, the only,

THE GENIUS BAR.


 I would like to know who among you has NOT fallen in love with a Genius.

They are the modern day car mechanic. The knight in shining armor to today's distressing damsel.

My MacBook will take a few hours to fix? Why don't we discuss it over dinner.

My Motherboard is getting old? I bet you could fix it.

I'm not sure what it is exactly, but every time I walk up to the bar and am greeted by the warm embrace of his nerdy smile, my heart can't help but skip a few beats.

 Your parents would have no choice but to love a Genius. He would always take care of you. By definition, doesn't "Genius" mean there's no problem he cannot solve?

Before I go too far down this rabbit hole, there are a few things I have discovered over the years that I feel obligated to remind us all.

1-When visiting the Genius bar, you must not be fooled into interacting with a female Genius. To her, your ignorance will only be irritating. You will leave with nothing for free. No, as much as I believe in women's rights and say, "down with the glass ceiling!" I cannot support the female Genius.

2-I have tried to actually date a few Geniuses in days gone by. It's really too convenient that they have to get your phone number in order to diagnose your iPhone. His name looks so nice on your contact list: "Kevin Genius." But it always seems that once you see him in civilian clothing, the spell is broken. I'd really rather you put that bright green t-shirt on and talk about Snow Lion. Bobcat? Panther? What are we on these days? A Genius would know.

So often my friends in LA talk about how hard it is to meet guys at bars.

My question is, why go to a normal bar...when you could go to one FULL OF GENIUSES?

They've got all varieties.



Geniuses that have dreads.



Geniuses that are brown.


Geniuses that are stylish.



Geniuses that look like Chris Pine.



Geniuses who celebrate Christmas, which is no guarantee these days.

So ladies, here is my message to you:
Drop your computer! Run over your earbuds! Throw your iPhone in the toilet!  Do whatever you need to do to get yourself to the Genius bar.

I will be there. We will make silent eye contact, and both of us will know. That for this moment, we've fallen in love. With our Genius.

3 comments:

Rachel said...

I love how when you walk into the Apple Store it totally smells like Genius. It's like the smell of a gym, but with a smack of smart about it.

David said...

Is that Xzibit?

danielle said...

WE HAVE WASTED SO MUCH TIME.
thanks for the reminder.