This morning I woke up, stretched my extremities, and pulled out my trusty smart phone.
I checked my Twitter account to find this:
Robbie Greenock, my internet arch nemesis, wants to follow me on Twitter?
Something did not seem right.
I swallowed my jealousness and Wikipediaed him. This is what I found.
It would appear that Robbie Greenock does not, in fact, exist.
Unless you count this one person in the UK.
I did a little more investigating and found this article, appearing in the British news source “Greenock Telegraph”, about teenage footballer Robbie Crawford who did something great on the soccer pitch.
His picture appears to be the same one @RobbieGreenock used in his twitter profile.
I further investigated @RobbieGreenock, to find that he has 0 followers, 0 tweets and is following 14 people, all celebrities.
I may not be a detective, but I have read every Nancy Drew book in the Orem Public Library. And based off the evidence before me, I have deduced that:
a) Robbie Greenock is not a person.
b) Greenock Telegraph is a news source that covered a story about Robbie Crawford the high school footballer.
c) Wikipedia lies.
d) I am being punk’d.
So will the real @RobbieGreenock please stand up? It would be much appreciated. #kthxbai