Sunday, 11 November 2012

Whose picks are these pix?

I have one simple request for you, world.

When I'm famous, can I at least pick my own Wikipedia pic?

You laugh, but in reality the request appears to be way too much to ask. 

I have compiled a list of possible situations the current picture picker might be in:

a) Operating under a severely limited budget
b) Bitter at the beautiful people of the world and determined to make them look like idiots
c) Wearing dark sunglasses

I mean look at this!


 Julia doesn't look too terrible here.  But for the woman who played the lead role in the film "PRETTY WOMAN," I think we can do better. 


Last I checked, Jimmy Fallon was a handsome, fully functioning human. No? My bad.


All it takes is one simple Gooooooogle search to find one million o's worth of better-looking options for Brad.


2011 Sexiest Man Alive. Coming to an AA Near You!


What do you mean, did I graduate high school? Look at these robes!


Perhaps this is a timely pick, paid for by Scientology, to show Katie in "shock and despair."


Hey Wikipedia. If you need me to pause FNL, take a shot of Coach Taylor on my iPhone and text it to you, we can arrange that.



Ahh, I know what the rest of this outfit looks like. Boot cut jeans,  platform shoes, canvas Roxy belt with seatbelt buckle? Now I get how she got Ryan Reynolds.




It's just too much for me to understand. I feel disillusioned by fame and all the "great perks" that come with it. In this day and age, the right to choose one's own prof pic seems inalienable.  

Maybe I don't even want to be famous anymore. Maybe I'll just stop trying. 

If you need me I'll be alone in my room, working on my Wikipedia page. 


screw you robbie greenock!!!