Thursday, 29 December 2011

the girl who gets hurt.

There are few things that irk me more than people who are consistently getting "hurt." You know what I'm talking about. They're clinical pity partyists, unconvincing hypochondriacs, and cousins to people who always sing just loud enough to be heard above everything else.

No one wants to date the girl who always gets hurt. You can't play catch with her. You can't take her on a hiking trip with your buddies, unless you either like being miserable or she is much more attractive than you. Only saints and sellouts are capable of hanging out with these people.

Well, a few months back I had a real scare that I just might be one of them. Let me explain. 

Boy and his friends are into dirt biking. (Here I feel it is necessary to say that my only other experience dating a dirt biker was my first kiss when I was 14. He liked Fox racing, was quite sexy and possibly illiterate. Since him I haven't had much experience on the dirt biking front.) So after a few months of dating, he suggested that I come with him and all his friends to the sand dunes. It will be super cool! All the dudes are gonna show off on dirt bikes and the girls can ride around on ATVs and watch us! I agreed to go.

(kind of legit)

After a bit of riding around on my quad I was starting to feel way awesome about myself. Sick bra, I'm so Travis Pastrana right now!! Such thoughts were occupying my mind when I went over a dune that was a litttttttle larger than I'd anticipated. Next thing I know I am face down choking on sand and in quite a bit of pain.

I look up to see every one of his friends sitting at the top of the dune looking down at me, and in my head all I could think was, "I am the girl who got hurt. I am that girl who gets hurt. NOOOOO!!!!!!"

Everything went into slow motion. I had a flashback to the time my nephew got "hurt" and was limping around our house. He kept having to switch legs because he forgot which one was injured.

I remembered a girl I used to take dance classes with. One day she walked into Ballet class late, dressed in street clothes. She stopped awkwardly in the middle of the class and announced to the teacher: "I sprained my ankle."
She immediately turned and began limping out of the class. Our teacher asked, "Well, aren't you going to stay and watch?" But the girl who got "hurt" kept right on limping out the door. I guess her ankle affected her hearing as well.

I came back from my daydreaming to a swarm of very nice, concerned people asking if I was okay. Pshhh, me? Totally fine! That was so funny right? After all, it was pretty funny. It also hurt pretty badly. But I lied my way through it and rode the rest of the day! Later I found out I had a minor tear in my AC joint on my shoulder, which is really not a big deal but does make you pretty miserable for a few days. 

So lesson learned...if you find yourself in a situation where you would like to make a good impression but instead end up injured, remember that you can always just LIE. You (and probably your boyfriend) will thank yourself in the end. 


Cynthia said...

sometimes, i just don't understand how there are people as funny as you on this planet.

congrats on your "anti-pity-party" charade! you rock.

meredith conroy said...

youre good sh!t rebbie g.