Thursday, 29 December 2011

the girl who gets hurt.

There are few things that irk me more than people who are consistently getting "hurt." You know what I'm talking about. They're clinical pity partyists, unconvincing hypochondriacs, and cousins to people who always sing just loud enough to be heard above everything else.

No one wants to date the girl who always gets hurt. You can't play catch with her. You can't take her on a hiking trip with your buddies, unless you either like being miserable or she is much more attractive than you. Only saints and sellouts are capable of hanging out with these people.

Well, a few months back I had a real scare that I just might be one of them. Let me explain. 

Boy and his friends are into dirt biking. (Here I feel it is necessary to say that my only other experience dating a dirt biker was my first kiss when I was 14. He liked Fox racing, was quite sexy and possibly illiterate. Since him I haven't had much experience on the dirt biking front.) So after a few months of dating, he suggested that I come with him and all his friends to the sand dunes. It will be super cool! All the dudes are gonna show off on dirt bikes and the girls can ride around on ATVs and watch us! I agreed to go.

(kind of legit)

After a bit of riding around on my quad I was starting to feel way awesome about myself. Sick bra, I'm so Travis Pastrana right now!! Such thoughts were occupying my mind when I went over a dune that was a litttttttle larger than I'd anticipated. Next thing I know I am face down choking on sand and in quite a bit of pain.

I look up to see every one of his friends sitting at the top of the dune looking down at me, and in my head all I could think was, "I am the girl who got hurt. I am that girl who gets hurt. NOOOOO!!!!!!"


Everything went into slow motion. I had a flashback to the time my nephew got "hurt" and was limping around our house. He kept having to switch legs because he forgot which one was injured.

I remembered a girl I used to take dance classes with. One day she walked into Ballet class late, dressed in street clothes. She stopped awkwardly in the middle of the class and announced to the teacher: "I sprained my ankle."
Riggggggggght.
She immediately turned and began limping out of the class. Our teacher asked, "Well, aren't you going to stay and watch?" But the girl who got "hurt" kept right on limping out the door. I guess her ankle affected her hearing as well.


I came back from my daydreaming to a swarm of very nice, concerned people asking if I was okay. Pshhh, me? Totally fine! That was so funny right? After all, it was pretty funny. It also hurt pretty badly. But I lied my way through it and rode the rest of the day! Later I found out I had a minor tear in my AC joint on my shoulder, which is really not a big deal but does make you pretty miserable for a few days. 

So lesson learned...if you find yourself in a situation where you would like to make a good impression but instead end up injured, remember that you can always just LIE. You (and probably your boyfriend) will thank yourself in the end. 

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

happy late christmas.

Hope you looked as good as I did!


Socks--CVS, Jeans--Levis, Sweater--Vintage Nordstrom, Jingle Earrings-Handmade by Sue J. Groesbeck, Holiday Spirit--Priceless.

Friday, 16 December 2011

Thermador of Death.

Remember when they told you if you left your straightener turned on all day it would burn your life down?

 Welll, this is the contraption that is supposed to heat my apartment. It's called a THERMADOR.


The only difference I see between the straightener and the Thermador is that the former has nice, enclosed, flat heated surfaces while the latter has blazing, smoldery, flammable coils of death.

Also, the latter is a permanent fixture in my bathroom. 

While I am quite confused at the logic behind the Thermador, the fact that it saves me from the freezing cold of un-insulated walls means I have no intentions of quitting it. Please wish me luck, as I am quite over house fires and would hate to repeat this

Thursday, 8 December 2011

all i want for christmas....


....is Betty Hayne's legs. 

Have you watched WHITE CHRISTMAS yet this year?



(Fast forward to 2:16 for the good stuff)

So...Christmas in two weeks huh? All I see is palm trees and I am thoroughly confused. I even resorted to Kenny G's "Miracles" album to put me in the mood but something just felt wrong. You know when it's July 27th and your iPod is on shuffle and "All I Want for Christmas is You" comes on? It felt like that. Only it's December here in this Twilight zone called LA-la land, where the outdoor malls create fake snow so you can feel like it's Christmas whilst spending zillions of dollars on your celeb friends. So strange.

I can't complain about the fact that I could* walk out my door any morning and go running. Or that tonight was my first time wearing my puffy coat. I'm simply in need of a lil' Holiday cheer.

How do you people from sunny climates feel Christmas-ish? I'm in need of a little help.

*could, not do.

Thursday, 1 December 2011

silver lining

Remember that time I worked 24 hours in two days and at the end of all of it the power went out at the agency and I lost half my work? Ok, ok I didn't, but for a minute I thought I did and was about to tear my all of my hairs off. Thank you Bill Gates for inventing Auto Recovery as part of your Microsoft Word software.


(this is what Chiat/Day (& night) looks like when the power is out. creep fest!)


The silver lining in all of this though, is that according to howmanyofme.com, I am approximately the ONLY Rebbie Groesbeck in the US of A. Take a looksie.


I would recommend that you visit that website, but I can't be sure it won't give infect your computer with viruses. Virusi? Anyway, I'm feeling all sorts of one-of-a-kind. Happy December friends!