Monday, 6 June 2011

when you're bored, but leaving.

You will wish life had a fast forward button, and then think maybe you'd actually rather have rewind. Pause?

You will go to the gym. As the class is getting out you’ll think I don’t have time to stay for sit-ups and then you’ll realize you could actually stay all day.

You will find yourself at the mall. Your friend who works at Nordstrom will comment at how she keeps seeing you there and you will realize hey, I should stop this materialistic habit before i become all materialistic.

This will make you think about all the people you could have helped with all your free time and you will feel guilty. You will think about Serving Someone and start making a list of who/how you could serve.

You will remember when you were little and you made the mistake of telling your mom you were
bored and she said you could help her vacuum the stairs if you're that bored.

You will think about your friends who have babies who probably wish they were bored sometimes and you will try to take advantage of being bored because once you have babies you probably won’t be bored ever again.

You will realize at some point that the reason you are so agitated with boredom is because you are out of the habit. You wish you had been less productive.

You will think about how you should probably call some of your friends to see them because you are leaving soon. You will think actually maybe it’s better to stop seeing them now so you can get used to it. You wonder if they will miss you when you're gone. You will know it's immature but you will kind of somewhat hope they will be sad.

You will suddenly never know what to wear. You will stand in front of your closet, not caring what you look like but having no ability to choose what to put on.

Your monthly Netflix fee will increase in value.

You will remember times when you wished you had just a few minutes to sit and be bored. You will realize that in a month you will be have no time to be bored and you’ll probably wish you could be bored and even when you will be bored, will you have anyone to be bored with?

You will think maybe I should’ve gone on that blind date. Then you will remember how tiring it would have been and that you’d rather be bored.

You will be overwhelmed by all the time you have to finally read books. You will go to the bookstore and buy five books and read a part of each one every day and be frustrated at never finishing them. If you could just finish something.

You will wonder why you keep spelling boredom 'boredome' and realize your brain has possibly, to some degree, ceased functioning.

You will be trapped inside your head and think too much. You will wonder how you can show up to your job way creative. Maybe you should think weirder. Maybe you should watch some obscure films. Maybe you should get your hipster glasses back even though you got your eyes lasered.

You will realize that the only thing that makes you feel better about being bored is writing about it and then you'll feel grateful you got a job where you could write and then feel scared that what if you actually aren't that good at it.

You will think all this in the space of ten minutes, sitting in your kitchen, wondering what to do next. You will start to do something. And then before you're done you will think it alllll again.

4 comments:

holli h. said...

i can relate to this right now. it's a dismal cycle!!!

lyz said...

you will forget that every single person your age feels this exact same way every second of every day. and you will get over it. then in a week you will do it all again.

Cason and Marie said...

Rebb you're a good writer. Enjoy feeling bored! Isn't it funny how us humans are? We think that life would be so amazing if we could do whatever we want whenever we wanted-no job, shop whenever, read whenever, eat whatever, etc. It's fun for about 2 weeks, then it gets old. If only right?!

I am anxious to hear where you are moving!!!!

danielle said...

amen