Sunday, 28 November 2010

zit patch: fail

Sometimes I am a victim of delusion. I shall give you an example. is it ok to talk about zits online? ah well.
On Friday I started to feel an underground zit coming on. You know the ones that are massive, painful, and have a pulse of their own? Ugh.

So I found this in my drawer:

The "1-Hour Pimple Patch." Please notice that it is battery powered...? A combination of sheer desperation/curiosity came over me and I had to try it.

So, for the next few hours I lounged around with a giant white thing on my chin as the family made fun. Adults were amused, kids were confused.

Jack: "Rebbie, you have something on your chin."
Me: "I know Jack. You don't know now but someday when you're older, you'll get zits. Do you know what those are?"
Jack: (blank stare)
Me: "'s when you get red things on your face that hurt real bad and injure your self confidence"
And little Jack ran away.

Suffice it to say that the Pimple Patch did not work as well as delusion made me think it would. Defeated, I removed it after the allotted hour and we went off to lunch. Whilst we were enjoying a delicious meal, brother in law Jeff noticed something white and ineffective on sister Amy's sleeve. Lo n' behold, THE ZIT PATCH, tagging along for lunch!!! Jeff's reaction? "Awesome. Now there's a zit on your shirt." But don't worry Aims, he's kidding. It's still residing safely on my face.

Lesson learned I guess, life's trials are never so easily resolved. I did just get a new thing of face wash though, and look what came with?

I'mma bring it with me next time I play Sports.

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

always be her baby.

It has been quite the stressful few weeks, and I felt inspired to give a shout out to the one person who has been there for me through it all.
If this woman doesn't scream indomitable spirit and unfailing confidence, I don't know what does.
Remember Daydream? First CD I ever bought.
And how can we forget Rainbow? I have a feeling this was the last successful mainstream rainbow-wearing.
I remember driving to Lake Powell with all my cousins and dancing our hearts out. I still remember wanting to be my cousin Lisa and know every word, and I can say with pride that at least I have accomplished and maintained the last part of that goal. Yeah, it's like that ya'all.
Mariah has played a vital role in the woman I am today. Or at least the woman I am inside my head.
Mariah rocks windblown hair like no one else.
She can catfight herself and no one cares.
She changes body shape & size daily and we barely notice anymore.
She can marry a man 10 years her junior and get PREGNANT WITH HIS BABY!!! (yes, baby cannon is expected next spring)
She can be 40 years old without even realizing it.
She can write awful lyrics like, "you're a mom & pop, I'm a corporation, I'm the press conference, you're a conversation" and i'll still sing (shout) them from my shower or car.
Some may peg her confidence as delusional, but I find it inspiring. Mariah, we belong together. And all I want this November 17th is YOU.

Sunday, 7 November 2010


just finished the latest crazy idea. thoughts?