Tuesday, 1 June 2010

The surprise kiss: fact or fiction?

You know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s rampant in Hollywood, and isn’t even confined to Nicholas Sparks’ romantic tragedies. Attractive protagonist A decides, after days, months, or even years of yearning, to suddenly and unexpectedly kiss protagonist B. SURPRISE!!! Yes, my friends, this post serves to discover whether the surprise kiss exists in real life, or whether it is only a figment of every female (and/or male)’s infatuation.

I thought about pretending I hadn’t imagined myself surprise kissing someone. But then I realized that if 93% of Hollywood’s producers are building it into their films, I can’t be alone in my wishful kissing, can I? Someone back me up here.

So I wonder, what makes the s.k. so alluring? Obvious answers include attraction, suspense, best friends turned lovers, etc. but I think a bigger part of it is the 'fascination with the abomination.' Simply put, it is the weirdness in me that is so curious exactly WHAT would happen if I, say…did a running leap through the library, that I have to physically hold myself back from doing it. What would be the aftermath of the s.k.? The sheer potential awkwardness is sickeningly captivating. (Now is the point where you stop reading my blog because I’m insane. No hard feelings.)

Something else I wonder--which would you rather be, the kisser or the kissee? Here are a few case studies of my favorites and/or recent watches.

Possibly the most INFAMOUS of the surprise kisses. Mutually instigated. Result of some serious sexual tension.

The copy kiss. Instigated by her. Result of her liking him (sometimes).

(Don't ask me where the google got this picture, but i recently watched 27 dresses so it was on my mind.)

The bar kiss. Instigated by him. Result of drunkenness allowing him to finally confess his love.

I can’t decide if it’s more a man’s fascination or a woman’s. Experience leaves me torn. On one hand you have those lazy guys who are like, “yeah! girls should totally be forward!” and on the other those traditional ones who won’t ask you out but say, “no way, if a guy likes a girl he'll do something about it.” Maybe that didn't relate. Maybe it was a bitter tangent...ha.

I think the time I came closest to becoming a surprisekisser was in Paris, atop the Eiffel Tower. Loneliness was surely to blame here, as I was living in a state of near nunnery among 40 girls and one man. The city of love was too much to take, and ten girls spent a good twenty minutes chickening out of the challenge to grab an attractive euroman and smooch him. I descended the tower with my dignity intact but my Italian grandchildren forever unborn. Would I change it if I could go back? Yeahhh… ok no way I’m a wuss.

In closing, I would like to point out that the soundtrack to this post, In My Place by Coldplay, is no coincidence. Wouldn't it be the perfect backdrop to a surprise kiss?? So epic. Just try it, I double dare you. Start the song over and imagine two hotties of your choice, standing face to face and slightly breathless. They stand for a minute, wordless, then one rushes up, facegrabs, and there you go. Slow motion is optional from here on out. Bet you’ve never experienced INTERACTIVE BLOGGING before! I guess sitting next to Lars is rubbing off on me.

On that note, I hope everyone knows I am not as obsessed with kissing as this post is making me seem. Yikes. Consider it more my expression of something I’ve secretly wanted but will NEVER in a million years do. We all have dreams right? Yours might be skydiving. Mine is s.k.ing. Anyway, if anyone has a story of a surprise kiss, whether a success or a fail, advice on how to pull one off, your favorite s.k., etc. I must hear!!!