Friday, 9 April 2010

pants?

so lately i've been faced with what i would consider a minor moral dilemma. it can be summed up in one little word-LEGGINGS. i feel invincible when i wear them them, almost like i'm wearing nothing at all. but some see leggings as the next threat to mormon modesty, the spaghetti-strap tank of the 2000's.

so i got real letter of the law one day and consulted my dictionary widget, where leggings are defined as: "tight-fitting stretch PANTS worn by women and children."

ok, so kids wear them. but hey. the dictionary said they were PANTS!! the freakin dictionarayy.
after reading this i was empowered to wear my leggings out of the house. then i got to campus, where suddenly i felt as though i was jogging by my bishop's house in booty shorts and a tank top. judging stares and guilty conscience!!! yuggg.

immodesty is not my goal in wearing leggings, i swear. but i, like all of you, purchased these boots from target this year.

anyone want to share how you stuff your jeans in these babies? i took my method from the lovely kellee cook. you start with tube socks. put sock halfway on. roll up jeans. fold pant leg over, creating a 'peg effect.' finish putting on sock over jeans, securing the peg in place.

unfortunately, the only socks i own that are long enough to do this with are either neon and fuzzy or holiday themed. gets realll awkward when you have to take off your shoes at a party in march and you're wearing bright orange socks with embroidered witches on them.

in general i have avoided wearing leggings in favor of the pant-pegging, so as to avoid this dilemma altogether. but one night i went to salt lake to hang out with some heretics from the U and felt like a downright SCHOOLTEACHER. (not that i don't have hot schoolteacher friends.) i kid you not EVERY girl there was sporting leggings. they didn't even have long shirts!!! i hate those moments when i cannot deny that i live in a bubble.

my mother experienced some similar legging-wearers.
"they just wore leggings!! just...leggings and a shirt!"
"yeah, mom. people wear that."
"just leggings? tight, on their buns? i could see..." (descriptive hand gesture)
"yes mom."

of course, leggings aren't the only name by which this 8th deadly sin is known. there's the occasional stuck-in-the-80's title, leggins (lay-gn's), stretch pants, yoga pants, or my new favorite, JEGGINGS!

ladies and jentlemen, i give you THE JEGGING.

mmm anorexia never looked so good.

can't we call them something else? leans? spandings? pights? either way, these things are the rationalization that will solve all my woes!!! right?? tight as leggings with jean-like features! the problem is, i had this one dance costume, which somehow didn't make this post, that was black dance pants with denim-esque rhinestone "pockets" on them. i thought they were so hot. i think i even showed up to a social gathering straight after rehearsal 'on accident' one time but i can't be sure. one of those memories i've tried to tamper with, horace slughorn style.

anyway, i cannot decide which direction my moral compass is pointing. if anyone has an opinions or solution to the question of what 'pants' truly means, i implore your advice. thank you.

8 comments:

Annie said...

pights. if only we called them that. and if only you knew how relevant this entire dilemma is in my life (including my dismissal from the testing center). urban outfitters calls them cigarette JEANS. but i think i could be in a world of hurt if i started referring to UB for moral inspiration - but i could also have a chance at looking really hot. hotness vs. morality. boo.

Jenny said...

laughed so hard at so many lines in this post. especially your mother's hand motion.

Kristen said...

a couple weeks ago julie beck came to speak at my stake and someone actually asked her what she thought about leggings as pants (funny, i know). but her answer was, some things are appropriate for non-church activities, some are not. would you wear leggings to church no? the only guideline she gave was "nothing tight or revealing". SHE DIDNT SAY THEY WERE SATANS CLUB PANTS. so wear away rebbie, thats what i say.

adam and jess clark said...

you are a funny lady. i sure did love the slughorn comment! haha miss you

alison said...

well last night after we ran into you, holli commented on how hot your legs are. so i say go for it rebbie. wear those leggings.

Chelsey said...

Hahaha. They will always be stretch pants to me (big fan of large sweaters and stretch pants in 1992). I see where your line of reasoning comes from. Let us not forget that the term "shorts" is an abbreviated term for "short pants". . . does that make them pants??? But, like Alison said, you've got hot legs. So, rather than trying to rationalize, do it in the spirit of disobedience. I find it is much more fun that way.

Jordyn said...

HAHAHA the Halloween socks revelation happened to me SO MANY TIMES this winter.

Duncan Faber said...

my girls practically live in their leggings. But they must be capri length. I don't know why. Something about not liking fabric against their ankles. LOL. http://www.twirlygirlshop.com/girls-capri-leggings