Wednesday, 17 March 2010

unbelievable. UNBELIEVABLE!!

my friend just showed me this. it's the 'about me' section from this guy's facebook page who she served her mission with. i thought he was joking and really liked him...and then she told me he was serious. i am speechless.

My Name is Bradley Rutherford (name changed in case he tries to sue me). I Returned from Barcelona, Spain (also changed in case of legal ramifications) after serving a 2 year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in January 2010. Because such an esoteric and life altering change took place while I was out and about on what I consider to be a very meritorious mission, I apologize if I seem abstruse to those who have known me for years. When I first left for Ohio 2 years ago I left behind an ignominious and rancorous lifestyle. I wasnt what one would consifer "Stalwart." However, as many a missionary does, I "found myself" and learned that who I am and who I could be is far more important then who I was and used to be. I enjoy spontaneity. I live for adventures. Some might consider my style pretentious, I just simply enjoy having fun and doing things that are only dreamed of. I don't accept No as a possibility. If i want to do something i will make sure it is done. I enjoy a life of appreciated sophistication and class not a life boasting meretricious crassitude. I enjoy spending time on my Steinway and driving to secret places and exemplary eating establishments up in the mountains. I now, contrary to my past eccentricities, consider myself numinous. I love and try to live my religion regardless of all the disadvantageous and precarious positions i inadvertently find myself in. I am relaxed, patient, and a heavy-hearted romantic. I enjoy showing others how to have the night of their life without indulging in sordid and salacious entertainment. I love who I am, because I am learning more about who I am and to where I will be able to take myself. I plan on being successful and marketable and look forward to sharing a prominent future with those I love.

thesaurus.com anyone??

12 comments:

mandi winterton said...

Woah....I seriously need a nap. I plan on doing some facebook stalking so I can find out the truth about this character. I am going to start with the fact that he went on a mission to ohio, nice filter reb.

Dani Stolworthy said...

that's amazing.

alison said...

ignominious and rancorous lifestyle! crassitude!
i want to have the night of my life with this guy. (sans the sordid and salacious entertainment obviously).

Chelsey said...

I don't know where to begin. Apparently during his past "meretricious"(I've only EVER heard this word in reference to whores, but that's just me) lifestyle, he was exiled to a cell with only bread, water and a "Word of the Day" Calendar. I can honestly say that I hate him. I have to assume he is mentally ill, it's the only explanation. However, I think he said it best himself when he said that he "consider[s] myself numinous." God complex anyone? Give Oprah a call.

Collin and Traci said...

i'm with you. at first i wanted to adore him and after i woke up from my nap and as i finished, i threw up in my mouth a little bit. this poor guy. do we feel sorry for him?

Jason Akinaka said...

I don't think this guy can be real. Just bein' honest.

Scott Stevens said...

Dear Rebbie,

Please stop posting stuff from my facebook page to your blog. It hurts me on the inside.

Annie said...

eh...what?

Whit Sariah said...

ok, so i thought i would make myself a little less creepy by saying "hi, i blog stalk you" hopefully, that doesnt make me more creepy, but who knows...i may have just ruined all hope of not being creepy.
anyways, i think your blog is stellar. im not sure how i came this awesome-ness, but im sure glad i did. you are brilliant! keep it coming!

Lucas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lucas said...

Okay...so...here's the thing:

I know the dude who wrote this. Well, I don't know him. He's a friend of a friend; I've never met him. Regardless, I copied and pasted part of his 'About Me' section and googled it. Hence, how I came here.

Here's the kicker...

Reading this kid's 'About Me' section made me want to kick him. I literally considered emailing him and saying, "You owe me 10 minutes of my life back."

I am SO glad I found this blog hahaha! After reading that, I was speechless. It's absolutely pointless to be that wordy. You don't sound more intelligent...

Anyway, you rock. Glad you share my thoughts :)

Karen said...

Very funny blog!

This crazy guy totally reminded me of that Friend's episode where Joey learns to use a thesaurus and writes a reference or something for Monica and Chandler...and nobody knows what the crap he is talking about. So even though I am out that few boring minutes it took to read it, it brought back a very funny Friends moment...and those are always fun. :)