i'm not sure exactly how to start this...i know a lot of you have been aware of baby susie's story but i thought i would fill in some of the missing details.
my oldest sister has been pregnant, due sometime mid-march. in november as i was sitting on the beach in florida like the slacker i wish i was, i got a phone call from her telling me their baby had complications and wouldn't end up living through the pregnancy. the baby didn't have kidneys, which created a few problems with the baby's lungs and heart. there also was no amniotic fluid, which meant they couldn't tell what gender the baby was. after the initial disbelief, my sister and her family began preparing for the upcoming months, not exactly sure what they would bring. it was incredible to watch them gain a new perspective on life and the plan of salvation.
on february 6th, i got a phone call saying my sister was in the hospital, dilated to a 3 and having steady contractions. at this point my parents were in hawaii, i was the only member of my family within hundreds of miles and my blasted portfolio was flying off to nyc in 36 HOURS. of course i rushed over to the hospital and got there just in time to see my beautiful sister before they delivered the baby via c-section.
the nurse suited me up and let me come into the OR right after SHE was born!! they gave her oxygen and we brought her in to meet her mama. i can't express what a beautiful time it was so at this point i'll leave it up to the pictures.
me and sister
pinky fingernail is always the best
oh hey, i look 12 when my make-up has been cried off
tiny 4 lb susie. so pretty and so small.
dad and susie
giving her a name and a blessing
susie with older sister sadie.
as expected, my parents were devastated to miss the 3 incredible hours we spent with their granddaughter (who was named after my mother). but thanks to technology they were able to hear her little noises through the phone and to see her on HD video! so amazing. we also got to talk to michelley bells on the mission in ecuador. it's nice to have a father-in-law who works for the missionary department :) (i may attempt abusing that privilege every time i see him from here on out) more importantly, all the allen children were able to meet their baby sister and hold her and love her.
we held funeral services for susie yesterday. thank you thank you to everyone who showed up or gave your love or prayers on any level. i assure you they were felt. at times like this there is nothing to be felt but gratitude for the perspective the gospel brings. i am in awe of the peace my sister and her family have felt through the whole process. of course there will be mourning ahead. it would be absurd to think there wouldn't. but it's also been an incredible experience for my family. wonderful to see the church members extend their ridiculously expansive arms and embrace any and all who were affected. how blessed are we to be a part of this, honestly?
speaking of blessings. i have no idea why i was the one who got to be there with my sister. but it is a memory i will keep in my heart forever. i am profoundly grateful i was able to share that with her. thank you again to everyone for your kindness. thank you to my roomies for the beautiful flowers. thank you to everyone in room 140 brmb for not asking why i've been the way i've been lately :) thank you byu bookstore for the 8 lbs of chocolate covered cinnamon bears i've consumed in the last two weeks.
it's amazing how sad life can be and yet we still can be happy. i'm not sure why honestly. or how. but i know great faith goes a long way.
thank you for listening to me be optimistic. by next post the cynicism will possibly have returned. also. rebbiegroesbeck.com remains a nightmare. sometimes your website has to take a backseat on the priority list.