Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Tomorrow morning I will be whisked off to Ecuador to pick up sister!!! She has been gone for the last 18 months serving a mission, and those of you who know me remotely well know that I have been quite a poor sport about it. Honestly it has been an amazing experience for all parties, but what am I supposed to do when my bffff is taken from me?
I've been thinking about the last 18 months and all that's happened, and it's kinda blowing my mind. I am so grateful for all the opportunities I've had and the people who have made them amazing. There have definitely been some hard times but definitely more great ones.
So weird to think that 18 months ago I...
which means i didn't know these people.
hadn't lived in the candy shoppe
which means i hadn't lived at all
i had goggles
instead of laser vision
i drove this
char char did not exist
and susie hadn't changed our lives
i hadn't met them
or lived here.
I feel pretty good about the last 18 months. I think I'm going to feel even better about them tomorrow.
Friday, 10 December 2010
Monday, 6 December 2010
Sunday, 28 November 2010
On Friday I started to feel an underground zit coming on. You know the ones that are massive, painful, and have a pulse of their own? Ugh.
So I found this in my drawer:
The "1-Hour Pimple Patch." Please notice that it is battery powered...? A combination of sheer desperation/curiosity came over me and I had to try it.
So, for the next few hours I lounged around with a giant white thing on my chin as the family made fun. Adults were amused, kids were confused.
Jack: "Rebbie, you have something on your chin."
Me: "I know Jack. You don't know now but someday when you're older, you'll get zits. Do you know what those are?"
Jack: (blank stare)
Me: "Well...it's when you get red things on your face that hurt real bad and injure your self confidence"
And little Jack ran away.
Suffice it to say that the Pimple Patch did not work as well as delusion made me think it would. Defeated, I removed it after the allotted hour and we went off to lunch. Whilst we were enjoying a delicious meal, brother in law Jeff noticed something white and ineffective on sister Amy's sleeve. Lo n' behold, THE ZIT PATCH, tagging along for lunch!!! Jeff's reaction? "Awesome. Now there's a zit on your shirt." But don't worry Aims, he's kidding. It's still residing safely on my face.
Lesson learned I guess, life's trials are never so easily resolved. I did just get a new thing of face wash though, and look what came with?
I'mma bring it with me next time I play Sports.
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
Sunday, 7 November 2010
Sunday, 24 October 2010
("Salad" as a category technically encompasses anything from jello to potato, but i'm gonna stick with green for the purpose of this argument. Don't even get me started on quiche.)
The Shower, what I consider the essence of womanhood, consists of a bunch of ladies getting together eating a 'light' meal. Guys. Why are we doing this to ourselves? I am so fine admitting I eat normal stuff. Maybe it's just my last denial of adulthood, thinking I can eat real food and it won't affect me. Ughh. I've thought about what it would be like to utter the sentence: "I'll just have a salad, thank you. Dressing on the side." I'm just not sure I posses the willpower.
I remember one time being on a date with a guy who mentioned how he liked girls who ate real food and didn't just order a salad. BEST NEWS EVER! Of course I'm planning our wedding as I assure him I am not one of those fake girls, and order a steak or some other calorie-laden food.
He never called me again.
Here's the thing though, my lettuce aversion really isn't my fault, it's Zupa's. Yes, yes, I know you think I'm above it but at one (low) point at my life I was indeed a SALAD MASTER. This title is real, and I possessed it. I worked my tail off studying for the S.M. test.
"Let's see, Nuts About Berries has 6 cranberries, 4 strawberries, 3.5 blueberries and a child's fistful of candied almonds."
That was just the written portion.
The practical portion involved me whipping up all twelve salads in twelve minutes as my boss in vegetable pants looked on. Good thing Ratatouille was in my hat. (jk about that last part)
Can you blame me though? Now that you know my past?
I'd heard all these rumors about salads in fact having more fat than something like a cheeseburger and didn't believe it. I mean it just doesn't seem possible. So I looked it up. Namely CPK's Thai Crunch Salad. If you like this salad, or ever plan on eating it again, please do not read the statement below.
That pig in sheep's clothing has 35.9 grams of fat per serving. The serving size is half a salad.
Really though, I am deeply sorry to learn the truth as I myself have fallen victim to this salad. Never again though! Maybe.
I'm thinking the moral of the story is...eat carbs and be merry, for they taste better than plants.
Thursday, 21 October 2010
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
Monday, 11 October 2010
Thursday, 7 October 2010
I wish I could say it was because I had some character-building childhood where I always had to share a room and had since developed a love for this particular sleeping arrangement. No, instead I waited until I was an adult and could pay for the chance to sleep at a higher altitude.
In its defense, there's something adrenaline inducing about ninja climbing my way up to the top bunk while the roommate is asleep. I also find it strangely charming to be awakened with a jolt of gravity as I tumble down every morning. Life on the top has been good to me and I do believe I've grown rather attached to it. In fact, I'm not sure when it could possibly come to an end. Someone reminded me that maybe it will happen when i'm married? Maybe he'll have to deal with it.
Thursday, 30 September 2010
Monday, 13 September 2010
but then i remember that once i got asked to prom, i got asked TWICE!! in one night!!!!
i'm not really sure how to interpret this, but i think it means there's a bright, double light at the end of the tunnel. or maybe just that i'm the next contestant on the MORMON BACHELORETTE.
Tuesday, 7 September 2010
Tuesday, 31 August 2010
this one time i was really bored. and really tired of being really bored. and i had this idea and knew andy would be on board.
Thursday, 26 August 2010
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
(she doesn't usually look drunk. haha)
We were thoroughly damp with their sweat and spit by the end, but it was so worth it. To give you an idea of how awkwardly close I was, here is a pic I snuck at the end. We stood up to applaud and my nose was in this guy's knee caps. Weird.
Sad to think I won't see these people for a while. Chad is going to miss me so much. Can't you see it on his face?
So now I'm home, and it is strange. Silent. Can't decide if it's peaceful or isolated. It has been so lovely to see people and I have been strangely really busy. And sick. And exhausted. Today it's off to Bear Lake with the whole fam and the babies!!! I really can't complain but I think I'd like to just sit in my bed for a day. And I'm sorry for this boring post but I felt like nyc deserved one last shout out.
As for the Etta James...she has been the soundtrack of my summer. I'd give anything for those pipes!
Monday, 26 July 2010
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
I’m sick of British accents. I’m sick of them being instantly funny, instantly charming, instantly sophisticated, and instantly hired.
Here’s what I don’t get. Didn’t we kick them out? And now they hop back across the pond, utter one word of their “pure” English and all we can do is swoon. I don’t even mean a romantic comedy sort of swoon. It is my humble opinion that the most platonic and non attraction-based of swoons is un American. And that they need to stop.
The following is an eclectic group of Brits I have previously been seduced by. R.I.P. friends and lovers!! Consider this your eulogy.
I’ve witnessed first hand the measurable difference between my English and British English. There is this one person who went to school with me, who is British, and is most definitely the darling of the byu ad program…not to mention everything else he does. One day, we (he) convinced our professor to order pizza for a group meeting we were having. I order the pizza, from Brick Oven, 25 feet from the Brimhall and they told me it would be an hour and a half before they could get it to us. He, of course, was incensed that anyone would dare keep us hungry for that long!! He asked me to call them back to complain but I had a better idea—YOU CALL THEM BACK. Sure enough, what did they say? We’ll get your pizza in 15 minutes.
There is a man who might work where I work. He’s new. And he is a tall, parted-haired, dreamboat of a Brit. I’ve overheard multiple conversations by multiple groups of females on multiple floors in his behalf. One of my friends got stuck alone with him on the elevator. She tried to talk to him but said she couldn’t understand what he was saying. I’m not sure if this is due to swoon-induced hearing loss but I thought it was semi ridiculous. I mean…we do still speak the same language right? It made me think of that one time there was a British man on the Bachelorette and they put subtitles on every time he spoke. Where is our dignity, women??! Do we speak English or not?!?? Anyway. I keep seeing him in the halls and I’m pretty sure he wants to date me. We had a meeting with him the other day and yeahhhh. Post-meeting I caught two of my middle-aged co-workers looking him up on our company website. After a 20 minute debate we finally decided it was too soon to add him on Facebook.
Giant. Pathetic. Swoon.
My friends and I have considered starting an accent immersion program so that decent, hardworking Americans like us can find work in our native land. Better yet, what if we move somewhere else? To London? Do they find our accents as charming as we find theirs? My four, boy-drought months there makes me think no, but I asked yahoo anyway:
(straight from the mouth of a Brit!!!)
A) Is that the English spelling of embarrassed?
B) Swings and roundabouts? Ugh, even their useless sayings are charming.
C) At least in America we aren’t afraid to have a public voice. I happen to think the overweight man yelling at everyone on the subway last night was an inspiring show of democracy.
D) Can someone tell me how to do a Florida accent?
In reality, I don’t think there’s much hope of competing with our charismatic allies from the motherland. For now all I can do is hold on to my pride, keep my head high, and try to keep from swooning. Because as Edgemont Elementary taught me, there ain’t no doubt I love this land—God bless the United States of American English.