Friday, 20 November 2009

Dear Stephenie Meyer

i have a few things to say to you. since you probably read my blog.

i think it's really rude that you created something so horrible that i am so horribly unable to resist.
did i read every page of all 4 books? you bet i did. bought the 4th one on my 15 minute lunch break.
did i see the movie last night at the 9:30 screening? YOU BET.

i hate that your favorite band is muse.
i hate that edward is pale and has chest hair.
i hate that when your name comes up i spend twenty minutes trying to prove how much i hate you.
i hate that bella's vampchild is named RENESMEE. eaksfhhhhguhh the thought of it makes me cringe.
i hate that i love jacob black and his hot bod.
i hate it when people compare you to j.k. rowling.
i hate that a tiny, miniscule, inconsequential and basically nonexistent fraction of me is completely wrapped around your finger.

i hate that i just said hate 500 times.'s to starting to LOVE you. for everyone who has not seen NEW MOON, it truly was two of the most entertaining hours my life has ever known! bahahaha.
will you all hurry and see it so we can talk about it freely? i truly apologize for everyone sitting next to me. it was really hard not to ruin the movie for you.
when eclipse comes out i'll make sure to see it with someone like chelsey who, as evidenced by her blog title, shares my oh so charming cynicism...

oh also, my friend curtis showed me this little gem. sooo funny. enjoy!


Holli said...

1,000,000,000 internet points for this blog post!

Dani Stolworthy said...

i really want to watch that snl skit, but everytime i try i get the colorful pinwheel of death.
But it's cool. I'm cool.

Sara said...

I am so glad you are finally coming around. I will never forget the time when you and alex were discussing how terrible it was in Dover...oh Dover

Annie said...

sell out.

Chelsey said...

This blog entry has brought me a LOT of joy. I'm am now sharing it like the gospel. Let us not forget to note that the film ends like a weekly miniseries. Don't worry, no spoilers here. As if we could spoil the cosmic love created by Sis. Meyer that justifies any teen dual suicide attempts done in the name of L-O-V-E. And as I write this, I am theoretically stuffing dollar billz in her pockets. Jokes on me for seeing it opening weekend, and wishfully thinking that it might end differently than the book. Kind of like watching a Holcaust documentary. But, before the Bella brigade gets down my throat, I must note that I am obviously entertained by this plot that was orginally described to me by a 9th grader as a "Vampire Romance." Will I be at the next movie? Of course. Will I start the cat call as the title comes on the screen? Always will.