Thursday, 29 October 2009

it's halloween, take off your clothes!

it's that time of year again. time for cougs to let out the inner sex kitty they are so unfairly asked to suppress.

remember last year?

hmmm. ridiculous how much changes in a year. last round involved greenwich, chocolate filled brazilian churros, green tights and some indie scenester club. (white heat anyone?)

this year will no doubt involve migrating from party to dance party. MY FAVORITE!! good people watching at least. anyway, just had to give another shout out to l-town. someday i'll stop i promise..

Thursday, 8 October 2009


most. heinous. thing. i. have. ever. seen.

i apologize if you know these the same time i think they should apologize to me for making me look at this.

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

so i think i can't dance anymore :(

ummm so this is slightly touching for my taste, but i got to dance tonight and i just needed to pay homage. i wrote this a bit ago for my writing class. sorry it's kind of long. and cheesy. but hey, proof i have a soul after all!

I wonder where this fits in to my life—or whether it does at all. Something that was once such a part of me now seems almost impossible to touch. Life is too cluttered with things that 'get me somewhere' to make room for something that makes me happy.
Once I overcome the insecurity and lame excuses, the 15-minute drive, the $10 fee, I'm here. Not sure I belong. Pretty sure everyone else agrees. The fact that I don't care makes them look at me differently though.
Sitting on the ground. Feeling its comforting pressure against me. Spreading every inch of my body onto its glorious surface, amazed again at how willing I am to let my hands, hair, face, everything relax in this filth. Years of stubborn calluses, dirty shoes and ‘traction spits’ have left their mark on this floor, massaged by hundreds of ambitious feet. In any other setting, this comes nowhere close to socially acceptable. But here, we understand. Here the ground is the zero from which we must build; the force our bodies work against.
The music begins and wordlessly we move. As the melody enters our ears it makes itself at home in our minds, leaving room for little else. With every movement, emotions that have struggled long to break free from their glass bottles within me are finally released into the air. I physically feel them go, making me freer with every second. Ironic that in this total absence of words my plaguing worries go free. Countless times I have tried to attach words to them, to construct out of words a rope by which they can escape. Words are supposedly my life—my eventual livelihood. Their insufficiency to perform in this moment mocks me.
It’s dim in here. All I see is my hair flowing around me, the outlines of bodies barely visible in my half closed eyes. We have no need in this moment for the security of 20/20 vision. When was this ever about security? All is feeling. The feeling of my muscles taut until the pain turns to heat. The feeling of an inexplicable connection uniting every part of me. Feelings so overwhelming I struggle to not acknowledge the tears. “You overdramatic little girl,” my mind says. Get over it. But the awe at how I could ever forget this reaction takes over. How could I forget how much I need this? No amount of growing up or getting somewhere can ever satiate this need.
I've tried to move on, thinking that leaving it behind will ease the pain of not being able to spend my life in it. But no matter where life tries to hide me, this nagging desire always catches up. Because it’s not something you do. It’s not something you play. It’s something you are. However embarrassingly my technique fades or my flexibility tightens, it's something I am and will always be. I will forever be a dancer.

Sunday, 4 October 2009

brace face.

it seems that lately i've seen an alarming number of people my age with braces, which evokes a huge amount of pity in my heart, which makes me think of the best 7 years of my life, which makes me cringe with insecurity, which inspired this shout out to all the brace faces out there.

(i googled 'bad teeth' and had to stop eating for a minute. so forgive me if this post is somewhat imageless)

remember this thing?

like stirrups for your mouth. and the doc is STILL trying to talk to you.

remember when you came to school for the first time after getting braces?
"wait let me see!!! oh, you look so...cute!"
the lies we told in 7th grade.

there were several tooth-related experiences i endured that i would like to pay devotion to.

1. the overlapper

by this i refer to when one 'vampire tooth' begins to grow over the other, without regard for the original 'vampire's' personal space, leaving you with two of the already-ugliest teeth of them all. i know vampires are in right now, but back then edward was still a figment of stephany myer's hormonal imagination.

2. the shark tooth.

two of the bottom teeth grow in BEHIND the original four, leaving you with two rows of teeth, just like our favorite animal. this can be solved by nothing short of having them pulled.
my mom was really excited about this one and no doubt started singing a shark-related primary song.

2. the lock and key aka HERBST

sorry michelley

this is an appliance involving two parts: giant metal plate on the roof of the mouth with 'key' for insertion. twisting key invokes large amounts of pain and does CRAZY things to your teeth. school and family pictures came at an unfortunate time that year.

3. the lip bumper

this contraption is somewhat explained in the above image. i still have no idea what it's purpose is, other than creating a cindy-lou-who effect on the wearer. i think i burned all evidence of my wearing it, but there used to be a picture on my fridge, which annie laughed at for a good 20 minutes every time she came over.

4. the 'banjo'

no torture in the history of the world can touch this. it was what inspired my nickname by the boys in my grade, BANJO. at one point i had so many rubber bands in my mouth i couldn't fit a skittle between my teeth. A SKITTLE!!!!!!!

anyway, i want to end on a positive note by giving a giant THANK YOU to anyone and everyone who contributed to the straightening of my teeth, without which i surely would have been cast out of society.

for anyone still enduring this tragedy, just remember, "only a few more months and we'll take them off!"