Thursday, 25 June 2009

don't do it!!!!

so the other night i made a gigantic cinematical error by attending the midnight showing of transformers 2. anyone seen it? if so i think you will empathize.
i admit the robots are INSANE but everything else was just terrible. losing 3 precious hours of sleep would have been justifiable IF the movie had had a somewhat interesting plot. or been original. or not contained 5,000 7th grade perverted jokes. never have i seen a greater abundance of stock characters or cliche lines. ba ha ha!
in attempt to save you all the misery of seeing it, i will try to show you the highlights.

"SAAMM!!! b-but i know how to fix cars and i'm oily all the time...why won't you just TELL me you love me?"

(wait...that's so weird megan. i sit on my motorcycle just like that)

"ah wassup bro, i'm the wussy sidekick friend, yeahh!!"


"RAWWWR DECEPTICON!!! THE FORCES OF EVIL WILL NEVER TRIUMPH OVER THE MAGNANIMOSITY OF THE PRIMES!"


"oh sam. just wait until i stick out my tongue."
(this was truly one of the most terrifying things i have ever seen)


"hee he ha ha oh sam, don't go to college! how about i make lots of awkward sexual jokes about you eh? ok!"

"wait, is that...? no, it couldn't be. yes, i think i see the MATRIX OF LEADERSHIP!!"


put these highlights to some sicknazty liNkn pArk music and BAM! you've got it. (i considered putting that as the soundtrack to this post but decided the memories of 7th grade and my sweet bmx boyfriend at the time seemed a little too painful to be reminded of)

but in your defense shia, you do look hot sometimes. although 90% of the hotness involved in this picture is your outfit and coiffed hair. didn't i hear you like your mom or something? nasssst.

so unless you are going for a VERY good price, aka FREE or just have a good 3 hours to murder i'd suggest avoiding this one. who knows, maybe you will like it! i think my friend did. oh wait, that was the 11 year old boy sitting next to me. (do these people have parents?) anyway, i hope i didn't spoil anyone's fun. happy movie going!

p.s. sad about MJ. and by MJ i mean the insanely talented, naturally pigmented, pre-neverland, DANGEROUS MJ.

2 comments:

jPate said...

Very accurate (and entertaining) summary.

Kate and Peter Lowe said...

Seriously though... its way too over the top! For some reason they thought that since the first one was such a hit, they'd just BLOW everyone away with the second one. Megan is naked-er, the robots now have balls, the mom is on crack, and the roommate.... where the heck does he fit in? Oh and now there are TWO horny little dogs... and a horny robot dog! Don't worry we're all set. Who could ask for more?! bleh! hahaha!