Sunday, 28 June 2009

i am in love.

happy 21st bday to me! i was SO surprised and instantly smitten.

except now she has a white seat with a white basket on the way. i think she needs a name, yes? any ideas? go check them out at my cousin scott jackson sells them and he has a lot of different colors that are all just lovely. happy summer!

Thursday, 25 June 2009

don't do it!!!!

so the other night i made a gigantic cinematical error by attending the midnight showing of transformers 2. anyone seen it? if so i think you will empathize.
i admit the robots are INSANE but everything else was just terrible. losing 3 precious hours of sleep would have been justifiable IF the movie had had a somewhat interesting plot. or been original. or not contained 5,000 7th grade perverted jokes. never have i seen a greater abundance of stock characters or cliche lines. ba ha ha!
in attempt to save you all the misery of seeing it, i will try to show you the highlights.

"SAAMM!!! b-but i know how to fix cars and i'm oily all the time...why won't you just TELL me you love me?"

(wait...that's so weird megan. i sit on my motorcycle just like that)

"ah wassup bro, i'm the wussy sidekick friend, yeahh!!"


"oh sam. just wait until i stick out my tongue."
(this was truly one of the most terrifying things i have ever seen)

"hee he ha ha oh sam, don't go to college! how about i make lots of awkward sexual jokes about you eh? ok!"

"wait, is that...? no, it couldn't be. yes, i think i see the MATRIX OF LEADERSHIP!!"

put these highlights to some sicknazty liNkn pArk music and BAM! you've got it. (i considered putting that as the soundtrack to this post but decided the memories of 7th grade and my sweet bmx boyfriend at the time seemed a little too painful to be reminded of)

but in your defense shia, you do look hot sometimes. although 90% of the hotness involved in this picture is your outfit and coiffed hair. didn't i hear you like your mom or something? nasssst.

so unless you are going for a VERY good price, aka FREE or just have a good 3 hours to murder i'd suggest avoiding this one. who knows, maybe you will like it! i think my friend did. oh wait, that was the 11 year old boy sitting next to me. (do these people have parents?) anyway, i hope i didn't spoil anyone's fun. happy movie going!

p.s. sad about MJ. and by MJ i mean the insanely talented, naturally pigmented, pre-neverland, DANGEROUS MJ.

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

launch pad

so back in high school when i used to date people, i inadvertently earned myself the nickname 'launch pad.' apparently brother in law jeff thought it comical to mock the number of missionaries i was helping prepare to enter the field.
not that it was THAT many, but hey even sending off one is a worse fate than i would wish on anyone.
so now i'm all grown up and think i'm over that phase when after years of contemplation, sister michelle decides to go. WHAT???? trust me i did my best to talk her out of it but she's too good of a person. my favorite was when she said, "sometimes i think about a mission and i'm like wait....i don't have to do this to myself. WHAT AM I DOING?"
but, despite all my satanic efforts, on wednesday we took her to the mtc. swine flu made us drop her off at the curb. it was weird. i don't think i can live without her :( if you haven't guessed yet, this post is an ode to jaclyn michelle groesbeck.
if you don't know michelle, she and i are essentially the same person. except she's nice all the time and i'm nice some of the time. oh, and we have 100% opposite body shapes. sometimes i find it amazing we came out of the same mother. she complains about her flat....stomach and i complain about my handles.
we have two favorite movies: Ever After and Big Business. i have no idea how these came to be the two, but we literally can quote them from start to finish.
if you haven't seen the latter, it's a great 80's classic about two pairs of identical twins and one from each pair gets switched at birth.

the bette middler twin is chubby, business-minded and bratty while the lily tomlin twin is skinny, eats whatever she wants and is nice to a fault. hmmmm i wonder why we relate to this movie so well?

in every picture of michelle growing up she has this inexplicable halo of redness around her mouth...almost as if she was constantly downing red popsicles. that's the only logical explanation we can come up with at least.

michelle is the most caring person i know, as evidenced in one way by her profession as a nurse. she's had some jobs that involved tasks i just don't think you could pay me to do. (**key words, old people, depends)
she is also one of the most adventurous people i know. she once spent four months in china teaching english to children and later went to argentina to work as a nurse in a mother's hospital. so basically there's nothing those 19 year old boys can throw at her that she can't handle. it may be slightly awkward for them to tell their 24 year old cute mission nurse about all their symptoms, but hey...
michelle also has extremely long legs. as shown in this amazingly awkward image. anyone else agree that ages 9-13 hold nothing but painful memories of braces and sports bras?

yep, there it is again. i saw this picture and laughed for ten minutes, then debated for another ten whether i wanted the world to know how attractive i was as a pre-teen. i decided it was too incredible not to be shared.
over the past few years shelly and i have been the only singles in the family, which means we've become quite the little couple of our own. i hear what she says when no one else does and she knows what i'm thinking before i say it. sometimes we'll be driving and realize we just stopped talking...for like twenty minutes, dead silence. ahhh the beauty.

shelly and i have always had the same hobbies but somehow i've never felt compared to her. we had one blessed year together on dance company, in which we choreographed an egyptian themed dance to janet jackson. yeah, i don't know what we were thinking either.

since we have been attached at the hip our whole lives, it is slightly strange and terrible to know that although she is now living five minutes away from me there is no seeing her. i'm coming up with awful ideas like, 'maybe she'll get some crazy disease there and have to come home!' who am i, LUCIFER HIMSELF? seriously, sometimes i wonder.
anyone know of some puking pastilles i can get my hands on? those would do the trick.

well over the next 18 months i will be giving updates on her blog so visit it! the url is
it's been a weird few days without her...i don't think it's quite hit me yet. i'm just grateful i have wonderful friends to keep my mind occupied :)
we got one short letter yesterday that said she was doing great and loving the spirit at the mtc. her companion is a 21 year old girl from idaho. i will update as soon as we get more but until then, pray for her!
(oh, and enjoy our favorite celine dion song while you're at it)

Monday, 1 June 2009

'tis the season

for the most painful shopping endeavor ever experienced:
maybe i eat too much, but MAYBE THIS IS THE WORST IDEA EVER.
guys get to wear big baggy shorts and we are expected to gear up in skin tight inches of fabric. sooo awesome.
whenever spring rolls around i get all excited to go swimming. naturally i think i want to buy a new swimsuit. i go to the mall, slightly pale and pudgy yet optimistic about life, and leave with nothing on my mind but how i will convince them to let me on the biggest loser. ahhh!

lately i have resorted to online shopping, where you can see it on someone else's body and then order it and pretend you look the same. my favorite place to do this is victoria's secret.
you get that blessed package in the mail, try it on and...wait..this doesn't look like it did on that one girl. weird. maybe it's this mirror. maybe if i do that pose she was doing...
(no but seriously, have you ever ordered one from there? talk about FALSE ADVERTISING, someone alert the NARB)

my most recent issue with swimsuit shopping is the arrival of a little something called the monokini:
(i truly apologize if you have one)

ahhgghhh! my eyes!!
zero percent of this contraption of a swimsuit makes sense to my brain. oh yes, so let's highlight the most attractive part of our body, the love handles! naturally. oh and don't forget the ever classy plunging navel strip.
there is something so weirdly pornographic about them. i mean, anything that requires this much work just to figure out what's going on is drawing far too much attention.
all aesthetics aside, can you imagine trying to get that thing on? i mean think of the possibilities of what could go wrong if you stuck the wrong body part in the wrong hole. endless. and i would imagine, hilarious. i will keep my eye out the next time i hit up some uber trendayy spot like the king henry pool for a MALFUNCTIONOKINI.

maybe i'm just bitter because yet again, fashion has decided to favor the waifs of the world. maybe i'm a little sensitive because last night in front of the whole ward my chair might have broken underneath me...maybe?
anyway. i'm just grateful there are masculine, respectful men like Mika who can spot a good looking woman when he sees one.

i just have to add, on a more positive note, i did finally find a swimsuit. where, you ask? downeast outfitters. it somewhat screams "DRAPER, UTAH" but n out's coming to draper right?
and speaking of swimsuits i just made a non characteristically amazing decision to buy a plane ticket to the cayman islands. we're staying in brienne's house august 2-9th. mmm. let the countdown begin.