Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Hipster Scare.

so for my pop culture class we're doing our final project on hipsters.
upon researching them, i've become a little afraid that i may, in some small part belong to this most hated of subcultures.
if you think you don't know what a hipster is, think again. you know what they are you've just always needed the right label to attach to them. you know those 'emo, indy kids' that spend ridiculous amounts of time and money in order to look homeless?
here's a prime example.

and another.
here are some clues you are a hipster, as defined by the one and only Hipster Handbook:

1. You graduated from a liberal arts school whose football team hasn't won a game since the Reagan administration.

You frequently use the term "post-modern" (or its commonly used variation "PoMo") as an adjective, noun, and verb.

You carry a shoulder-strap messenger bag and have at one time or another worn a pair of horn-rimmed or Elvis Costello-style glasses.

You have one Republican friend who you always describe as being your "one Republican friend."

Your hair looks best unwashed and you position your head on your pillow at night in a way that will really maximize your cowlicks.

You own records put out by Matador, DFA, Definitive Jux, Dischord, Warp, Thrill Jockey, Smells Like Records, and Drag City.

by this definition, i think i'm safe. i do wear glasses like this. that were cheap.

(apparently now i also take narcissistic self-portraits on my photoboth like a hipster would. but come on, i had to for the sake of the blog)
but unlike those sported by hipsters, my over-sized specs ARE PRESCRIPTION.

i also am a fan of these.

and sometimes i listen to weird music, like you hear now.
as i was coming to all these realizations, i kept telling myself, 'oh but i'm not like THEM. no one would ever label me like that.'
then it came to my attention that one of the most prominent features of a hipster is that they DENY BEING ONE. noooooo.
so here is my case for my not being a hipster:
1. i shower
2. i have a job
3. i don't do cocaine
4. i don't brag about being more 'deck' than someone or complain about the mainstream-ivity of those around me
5. i am a fair weather hipster. depending on the day, i may or may not dress like one

i fear that my daily dabblings in various subcultures may strip me of all legitimacy and label me as simply a poser in each of them. but since when do you have to sell your soul to one certain group? i'd rather divy it up, horcrux style and sell it to a bunch of them.
since when do i think so much about these things?
great great class, but i must admit i am tired of thinking so hard about things. i'm excited to go back to my mindless media consumption and become brainwashed by corporate america.
anyway. long live the hipster.
i apologize for the highly materialistic and self-centered nature of this post. no more, i promise.


Billy Reano said...

are there degrees of hipsters- almost like degrees of burns? If might be a first degree...

Anna Jay said...

"divy it up, horcrux style."
love it.

And I love your glasses. Serious.

Jordyn said...

Why didn't anyone tell me about this comms class?!?! OH mannn I want to take it. But I'm only an English major. Am I still allowed??

PS Rebbicita you're always the bomb, and on your fair-weather days, you're the hippest hipster of them all. And I mean that in a good way.

Sarah Orme said...

girl.....loved the comment about horcruxes. I saw the hp video for the new movie-It's going to be AMAZING! Long live hp

oh ya,
i love you whether you're a hipster or not.

Mike said...

am i the only one praying for the death of the skinny jeans as hard as praying for the return of the savior?

it's not so much the skinny jeans. It's the... I look like I just shopped at goodwill in order to save time, money, and the environment...
...but let me throw my starbucks coffee cup in the trash 3 times each day.

And, I can't wait for the day when we look back on the 80's and laugh instead of awe.

Michelle said...

i guess i'm not the only one who thought so but that divy it up, horcrux style comment was amazing